Chapter 4: Settlements

i am a horrible blogger. and a horrible picture taker. i have a handful of pitures that i have yet to post on my web. i enjoy guate alot. i can't say it is better then other parts of the world. in fact for me it was just the relocation that was necessary for my life. i don't find myself planning or plotting out my next destination or move. i like discovering myself here. i am finishing the first trimester of being a teacher and now as i write this i should be in process of entering grades, but i am not.such a naught teacher i am. i am by no means proficient in spanish but i can get by and i have become quite the spanish text messenger. my location is also quite nice because i have a great access to various other locations for travel. there is so much to do and see and experience.

the challenge in being here for me is that no matter where you go you are still you and you revisit the same hang ups you had from somewhere else you were living. i get along with many people but i don't really have any best friends. i don't have many friends in portland either but when you start all over you tend to cling to people or be kind of a loner, like myself. i would rather be alone than in the company of people who i have very little in common with or perhaps that my values don't align with. so there are two sides to me- a crazy socialite and a introvert that wants her own privacy. i am kinda lonely, but before you begin to feel sorry for me it is not as if i could not make friends. i am kinda selective. i want to speak and practice spanish, but guates are not like portlanders so when i hope to find some bohemian like locals i find it quite hard.

dating is a whole another ball game. i don't deeply desire to date an upper class guate but it is also difficult to date outside my own class. here in guate i am considered very wealthy. if i try to date the working class they tend to be very jealous and envious of my position. you can't also judge someone by their job or class. we might look at someone in the US and say he is a bartender or waiter he could be doing so much more with his life. the opportunities here are minimal and the people don't dare to think outside the box.
so no hommies and no papi chulo.
it is okay. i have what i need. my charm.
wink.
espero que son salud y feliz. espero que van a ecritire y llamarme tambien. mi corazon necesita afecto y amor. i hope that you all are healthy and happy. I also hope you will write me or call me (011-502-5349-8142). my heart needs affection and love.